The much-discussed Netflix series Dubai Bling is meant to give a peek behind the curtain of some of Dubai’s many millionaires. It features some of Dubai’s local household names that probably no one has ever heard of in the rest of the world. The cast of Dubai Bling takes being fake to another dimension. An accomplishment by itself. It was just too cringing to watch.

By Arthur Blok
I almost finished the first episode. Almost. I directly felt sorry for the cast, and I do. So did my 12-year-old. After roughly 25 minutes, he voluntarily went to bed. A first-timer, I can assure you.

Dubai has been our home for almost nine years. It is a city of skyscrapers, luxurious cars, ports with multi-million dollar yachts, and beaches. A dynamic city where big business takes place alongside sun-seeking tourism.

A city that I love, and it hurts if someone makes it look awful, fake, and utterly stupid.

In that perspective, Netflix did a great job: they found a bunch of wannabe stars, which I do not think realized were being used as laughingstocks by whoever created this horrendous failure of the reality series. The Netflix crew did everything possible to make Dubai look like a freakshow. And so they found themselves some useful idiots.

You often ask yourself, “are they shitting me?”

Dubai is a city where if you work hard, you can become rich, which is relative, of course. I do realize that. It all depends on where you are from and how high you put the bar. It is a bit of an open door, but it is true.

Some idiots accidentally make a lot of money, but it does not make them famous. Just does not work like that. The ten featured ‘rich’ residents genuinely thought Dubai Bling would help launch their careers far over the borders.

Probably the opposite will be the case.

The opening credits still need to be finished before Danya Mohammed - Who? - tells us: “Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fakest one of all?” Danya, I am sorry to break the news. It is probably you.

After watching the first 15 minutes, I am starting to doubt it.

Who are the “stars” of this show that was launched on Netflix on October 27? Names include Virgin Radio DJ Kris Fade. Talking about fake: besides pretending he has a private jet and a limousine, he has nothing interesting to show and say. No matter how hard he tries. He surely does his best.

Then there is Saudi Arabian TV Host Lojain Omran; I forgot what she said, and self-proclaimed successful business lady Zeina Khoury ‘who came with 300 dollars in her pocket’.

Wow, what a touching story.

Then there is a Lebanese bimbo who married a 30-year-old billionaire who died a few years into marriage. She inherited all his wealth, but she really, really misses him. Of course, she does. The bimbo is invited to a blind date by some rich kid who is obviously gay.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Furthermore, there are some “stars” who were born with a silver spoon, and they are seriously worried about closet space in their Palm villa. At least something I can relate to. I also considered buying the apartment next door to expand my closet space.

Finally, there is  DJ Bliss. Who? Someone who appears to have some sort of talent. Looking back, he must seriously regret being in the same show.

If he does not, well, that says enough, then.

Dubai Bling is not only too cringing to watch; it is the biggest mistake of Netflix since its inception. The world faces a global hunger crisis of unprecedented proportions. In just two years, the number of people facing, or at risk of, acute food insecurity increased from 135 million in 53 countries pre-pandemic to 345 million in 82 countries today.

Fuelled by conflict, climate shocks, and COVID-19, the crisis escalates as the war in Ukraine drives up food, fuel, and fertilizers costs. Millions of people are struggling to put food on the table and are being driven closer to starvation in a storm of staggering proportions.

There is just too much going on in the real world to get enthusiastic about a bunch of wannabes, famous fake individuals who argue about closet space and try to figure out who is most affected. It makes you wonder what the real reason for this show was.

It is just pitiful.