Home » Underground » Voices » Santa's Retirement

Santa's Retirement

The Retirement ( loooong overdue )
of Santa,
one of the richest guys in the world.

Where Santa  just sits by the fire
And warms his toes
With Ms. Claus
And reads  his story,

And tells all his little green friends
They are free
To go home,
Back to Nature,

And watches all his investments
And all his money.
That’s right
He   got  payed.  A LOT.

But wait,
Since he’s not doing the Christmas thing …
Well of course,   he has decided to
NOT invest in the business of Christmas presents
That stock is about to take a big fall.

And since he always did have
The insider information
All about   what’s hot for Christmas this year,

He’ll probably make a sock full,  a big stocking full
of money
even though he’s letting the business go.

In any case, now
What to do with all

All he knows
Is toys.

He asks
Are all the good boys and girls
doing ok?

Well, no.  He already knows that.
It’s very obvious from
The news.

He decides  to do something
To help.

Should he buy them all
Presents ?!
“Woah.”,   says Ms. Claus.
And Santa shakes his head

In disbelief  of  himself.

“Sorry.”  He says,
And he starts to laugh at himself.
And he really gets going here.
Turns onto a HAW HAW HAW.
One would think
He’s lost it
Or think that he’s drunk
Or   that he’s puffed too many bowls
From his
Good old pipe.

He looks at Ms. Claus.
‘Think.”    She says.

“What are they asking for?” …
A good paying job.  I think they would like that.
And lots of options.
And high tech solutions
To cover or help with
The hard
Not so pleasant jobs.
And not so many rules.

And of course …
A good clear
New something
To ease
The climate

Santa looks into the fire
And takes a deep breath
And puffs on his pipe …
And thinks.

And Ms. Claus   smiles to herself.

Santa   nods off.

In his dreams
He is visited
By an Angel.

He opens his eyes,
The fire has almost completely gone out.
Just a tiny glow is left.
He is all alone

In the dark.
… and it’s a little bit cold.
He pulls a blanket over himself.

And then he notices
Stuff falling from the chimney.
A little green lizard  dropped into sight.
He had rainbow dreadlocks
And a suit case.
He was very
He looked at Santa
And then raised his right hand,
And gently
Angel floated down
Into sight
Holding the little lizard’s hand.
“Angel NicGillicuddy,
I present to you
Santa Claus.”
She looked at him  with cool calm eyes.

The lizard put his suitcase down
Opened it up
And pulled out a document
Rolled up

With a ribbon
And even a decorative bow.
Sort of like
A Christmas present.

Angel said nothing. She just looked
At Santa
With a slight smile.

“It’s   The Settlement.”    Said the lizard.

Santa unrolled it.
He put his little specs on
And started to read.
He said softly to himself.

He put the document down
And took a deep breath.
Then he took a couple of puffs.

He picked up the document again
And finished reading it.

When he finished
He looked up
And Angel
And the lizard

Had disappeared.

“I know what to do.”   
Santa said to himself.

He noticed that there was something
In his Christmas stocking
Which had been hanging on the mantle
For many many years
Just for decoration.

He reached inside the stocking
And pulled out
The surprise.
It was a book
Very very old looking
But in perfect shape.
It was a deep red the color of blood
And on the cover,   
in golden letters was written


A Tale of Two Secret Passwords
And Money.
The end
For now.

In the next excerpt:
The Story
Of The Last Christmas Tree for Sale.

If you ask me
Looks A LOT
Like President Trump
With a long curly white beard
And long white hair
And a BIG smile.

In another excerpt
Angel and her friends
Sit around  
The Big Crystal Eye Ball
And imagine
And conjure
Other ways
Of celebrating
The season.
Without leaving ANYBODY out of course.

Yours Truly
At Your Service
Angel NicGillicuddy

The Hard Copy has been sent to President Trump.

author avatar
The Liberum
The Liberum
The Liberum runs on your donation. Fight with us for a free society.
Donation Form (#6)

More articles you might like

- by Adriana Lebbos on 18/04/2024

It is Now or Never

Perched on the abductor machine, wishing I had left my mobile phone in the car, […]

Richard Dawkins is right: For an atheist and secularist, Islam criticism is far more urgent

Who would have ever thought of that? Richard Dawkins, evolutionary biologist and the world’s most […]

Are the BRICS Countries Contradictio in Terminis?

The BRICS collective has drawn scrutiny from those familiar with Agenda 2030, a United Nations […]

Master your Emotional Intelligence

You could be a well-liked manager in your organization, but you are starting to feel […]

Russian election: How the West benefits from Putin’s victory

While Ukrainian forces were trying to make a breakthrough and infiltrate Russia's Belgorod region, Moscow […]

Celebrate Women every day, Everywhere, even in Conflict Zones

It’s not just about celebrating the women who have stood the test of time and […]